You Might Be A Geek If...

   If ten or more of these apply, I hope you work in the computer industry.

1. Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50.
2. You introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife".
3. You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
4. You want an 16x CDROM for Christmas.
5. Dilbert is your hero.
6. You can name 6 Star Trek episodes.
7. Your spouse sends you an e-mail to call you to dinner.
8. Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place.
9. You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys.
10. You use a CAD package to design your son's Pinewood Derby car.
11. You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
12. It goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string of Christmas lights.
13. You window shop at Radio Shack.
14. Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest science-fiction movie looking for technical inaccuracies.
15. You have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
16. You carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run.
17. You are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment.
18. You don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is.
19. You have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven.
20. You know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
21. You own "Official Star Trek" anything.
22. You have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside.
23. A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception.
24. You ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project.
25. You are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor.
26. You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
27. You have never backed-up your hard drive.
28. You are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud.
29. You truly believe aliens are living among us.
30. You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
31. You have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is".
32. You see a good design and still have to change it.
33. The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
34. You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.
35. The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind.
36. You own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are.
37. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
38. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.
39. You have more toys than your kids.
40. You need a checklist to turn on the TV.
41. You have ever introduced your kids by the wrong name.
42. You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
43. Your I.Q. is a higher number than your weight.
44. The microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it.
45. You can remember the passwords for seven different computers but not your wedding anniversary.
46. You have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already.
47. You have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for.
48. Your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal.
49. You know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use.
50. You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting.
51. People groan at the party when you pick out the music.
52. You can't remember where you parked your car for the third time this week.
53. You ran the sound system for your senior prom.
54. Your checkbook always balances.
55. Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone.
56. You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
57. You thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers.
58. You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
59. You spend more on your home computer than your car.
60. You know what http stands for.
61. You've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio.
62. You have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage.
63. Your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory.
64. Your lap-top computer costs more than your car.
65. Your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate.
66. Your nutritional pyramid is made of empty Jolt cans.
67. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
68. You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 3.0 or higher."
69. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.
70. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
71. You spend half of a plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
72. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
73. You laugh at people with 2400-baud modems.
74. You start using smileys in your snail mail.
75. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number.
76. You try to hum to communicate with a modem. You succeed.
77. The only jokes you know are on the web