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Barking Spider

Useless Inventions

  1. A freezer for Eskimos.
  2. AC adapter for solar calculators.
  3. Air-Bag Motorcycle jacket.
  4. Anklet wristwatches for contortionists.
  5. Avalanche prevention goggles.
  6. Battery powered battery charger.
  7. Battery-operated nuclear power plants.
  8. Blinker Fluid.
  9. Braille Drivers' Manual
  10. Braille toilet paper.
  11. Braille tv guide.
  12. Braille tv remote control.
  13. Brake oil.
  14. Breathable space suit.
  15. Brown undershorts.
  16. Cabin pressurization system for the Cessna 150.
  17. Caffeine-free Diet Coke.
  18. Camcorder with braille-encoded buttons.
  19. Candy bars with stannous fluoride added.
  20. Car steering triangles -- doubles as anti-theft device.
  21. Cast iron wire.
  22. Cat flap for the fridge.
  23. Checkered paint.
  24. Combs for bald-heads.
  25. Cordless plumb line.
  26. Dehydrated water.
  27. Diet celery.
  28. Digital clock-winder.
  29. Digital computer.
  30. Double-sided playing cards.
  31. Downhill stairmaster.
  32. Ejector seats for helicopters.
  33. Electric banana straightener.
  34. Electric dog polisher.
  35. Extra-large bicycle clips, for use when cycling in shorts.
  36. Fat-free Twinkies.
  37. Felt Jumper cables.
  38. Fine glass-crystal castanets.
  39. Fireproof cigarettes.
  40. Fireproof kindling.
  41. Fireproof matches.
  42. Flame-retardant gasoline.
  43. Flashbulb tester.
  44. Flavoured suppositories.
  45. Foam rubber toothpicks.
  46. Freeze Dried Water.
  47. Frictionless Sandpaper.
  48. Fur sink.
  49. Hand-powered chainsaw.
  50. How-to cassettes for the deaf.
  51. Ice skate sandals, for use in hot climates.
  52. Inflatable anchor.
  53. Inflatable darts-board.
  54. Inflatable PC -- The Ultimate Laptop!
  55. Kickstand for a tank.
  56. Laundromat in a nudist colony.
  57. Leather cutlery.
  58. Lie detectors for politicians.
  59. Low salt brine.
  60. Low-calorie PowerBar.
  61. Luminous sun-dial, for use at night.
  62. Matte finish floor wax.
  63. Mesh raincoat.
  64. Micro-miniature personal vibrator.
  65. Money with negative face value.
  66. Motorcycle seat-belts.
  67. Muffler Bearings.
  68. Non-intrusive alarm clock (raises a flag instead of ringing a bell).
  69. Non-stick Cellotape.
  70. Open Toed Safety Shoes.
  71. Papier mache step ladder.
  72. Parachute that opens automatically, upon impact.
  73. Particle board tent stakes.
  74. Reduced calorie water.
  75. Remote control for a computer.
  76. Remote control for a Watchman.
  77. Reversible garbage disposal.
  78. Rollerblade skates for peglegs.
  79. Rubber Kleenex.
  80. Screen door on a submarine.
  81. Second-hand fireworks.
  82. Self stick frying pan.
  83. Soap Dissolver.
  84. Solar powered flashlight.
  85. Solar powered night light.
  86. Solar-powered pacemakers for elderly sunbathers.
  87. Steel-belted radial rubber bands.
  88. Strap-on portable chairs.
  89. Sugar coated insulin.
  90. Sundial with glow in the dark markings.
  91. Tire chains for motorcycles.
  92. Trailer hitch for the Honda CVCC.
  93. Training wheels for timid sports car drivers.
  94. Umbrella with a skylight.
  95. Unsinkable submarine.
  96. Waterproof sponge.
  97. Waterproof teabags.
  98. Waterproof toilet paper.
Almost as much fun as a bucket of worms!
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