When We Say No

What Women Say (And What They Really Mean)

• I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of every banjo-playing geek on "Hee Haw.")
• There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one Jurassic geezer.)
• I'm not attracted to you in that way. (You are the ugliest dork I have ever laid eyes upon.)
• My life is too complicated right now. (I'm waiting for a rich sugar daddy.)
• I've got a boyfriend. (I'd rather stay home alone.)
• I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building.)
• It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.)
• I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and as my job has got to be better than dating you.)
• I'm celibate. (One look at you and I'm ready to swear off men altogether.)
• Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and fall in love with.)

What Men Say (And What They Really Mean)

• I think of you as a sister. (You're ugly.)
• There's a slight difference in our ages. (You're ugly.)
• I'm not attracted to you in that way. (You're ugly.)
• My life is too complicated right now. (You're ugly.)
• I've got a girlfriend. (You're ugly.)
• I don't date women where I work. (You're ugly.)
• It's not you, it's me. (You're ugly.)
• I'm concentrating on my career. (You're ugly.)
• I'm celibate. (You're ugly.)
• Let's be friends. (You're ugly.)